Hello campers. La-de-dah.
Did you think I fell off the face of the earth? Or had given up?
Or died?
Nothing as dramatic as any of those. I just kinda lost my
blogging mojo, especially since I didn’t have anything positive or interesting
to blog about. Still fat; still not following a good diet; still diabetic;
still in denial.
But…I sense a change in the air (or is that dog poop? No, it’s
change.*checks bottom of shoes* Definitely change.).
Why? Why now after all
this time?
I dunno. Maybe because it’s time. The right time. My time.
I guess I’m just finally ready.
I have managed to lose 35lbs since this time last year. Yay
me! I also managed to slide on (without the aid of any type of lubrication) a
pair of pants that I haven’t been able to get over my hips in the last two and
a half years. Yay! And, suddenly I can climb stairs! I have to attend a weekly
department meeting at work, every Tuesday. I dread them, not just because there
are only eight people participating and it’s really hard to hide that fact that
you are snoring when there are only eight people at the table, but I have to
climb a big honking flight of narrow stairs to get to the meeting room. I used
to climb stairs like so: right foot on bottom step, left foot joins, right foot
on next step, grab both handrails and PULLLLLL, left foot joins right foot on
second step; lather, rinse, repeat until reaching top of stairs, 10 minutes
later and completely out of breath. This is how I climbed the stairs this last Tuesday:
left hand on handrail, right foot on first stair, left foot on second stair,
right foot on third stair, etc. until I reached the top of the stairs in less
than 30 seconds and still had enough air to speak to someone when I reached the
top! Holy moly!
I don’t really know the reason why this happened. I’m still
eating out, still eating junk food, still eating sugar. Just not so much of it.
I’ve been eating the same breakfast for a while now: two pieces of French toast,
no butter, and just dipping the bread into a little 2.1oz cuplette (is that a
word?) of syrup instead of pouring two of them over everything (and then
throwing away at least half of the syrup); and two slices of bacon. I eat this
at my desk at work. When lunchtime comes around, I find I’m really not that
hungry. I may eat half a sandwich with a small bag of chips; or have a cup of soup
and a bagel. We have decided as a group at home that dinner is pretty much “fend
for yourself”. Sis just is not well enough to cook a big meal when she’s home,
I won’t do it, and neither will the bro-in-law. Sis is away more than she’s
home, so Les and I just do our own thing for dinner. Sometimes I just have a
bowl of cereal (or a box, depends on the cereal), or a few pieces of toast, or
a couple of frozen burritos. I get home so late – usually within two hours of
going to bed – that I just don’t feel like eating a ton of stuff that is
probably going to give me acid reflux. I’m drinking more water. That’s it
really.
I found a book that really spoke to me: “The Diabetes
Miracle” by Diane Kress. I know I have said this before, and this book is not
particularly revolutionary or anything, it just…felt like it was for me. This
book does not claim to cure diabetes or reverse it. It’s really like a
nutrition coach in book form (which is what I need – so far I have not found
anyone to talk to in person that has been remotely close to this helpful). It
explains very well what the hell your body is doing when it is diabetic, how to
lose weight in a healthful way and keep it off, and basically how to live with
this disease that is overwhelming at times. This is not a diet book for losing
weight. This is a book about how to eat to take back some control over your
malfunctioning body and get it working the way it’s supposed to again. 
It starts with step one: eight weeks of eating a lower-carb
diet that helps to rest and “rehab” your pancreas and liver. This will be
difficult for me, but it won’t kill me. Step two: reintroducing healthy carbs
into your diet. You learn which carbs have the greatest impact on your blood
sugar, and your body overall, and why. Step three: reaching your goal weight
and seeing improved blood sugar control, better blood pressure and cholesterol
levels.
I don’t know why this particular book seems to have clicked.
I have been excited about diet books before, but never got past the
planning-the-meals stage or stuck to it for longer than a week. I am just
quietly determined about this. It kind of gave me real hope that I could get
off the blood sugar meds without being all “rah-rah-rah-ziss-boom-bah” about
the whole thing.
We shall see what happens. I promise not to stay away and
will keep you informed on how it’s all going. There may be pictures.
Maybe.
Hope you are all well out there! 