Friday, March 23, 2012

Just keep going...

Well, I am down 15lbs so far. I figure I lost 8.5lbs from my feet and ankles, 3lbs from my face, 2.5lbs from my hair, and 1lb from my left elbow. My shoes fit better, but otherwise I can’t tell from how my clothes fit or by how I look that the weight is gone.

So. Not. Fair.

Be grateful, I tell myself. Others don’t notice, but you know you’ve done it.

Sod that, my other self answers. I want people to GASP with recognition that the weight has fallen off.

Fine. I guess that means that I’ll just have to keep going now, won’t it? At some point the weight loss will be obvious because I’ll have to buy new pants that don’t fall down, a new bra because the cups are too empty (oh, that’s a joy I SERIOUSLY look forward to!), and sexier tops because the back fat is fading away.

So, here I go, plodding away to the next victory: being below 310 again. All I have to do is lose another 15lbs; and the first just weren’t that painful.

I wasn’t journaling my food (vvv bad) because I got so frustrated with it. If it frustrates me too much, it will make me quit the whole she-bang. So, no more journaling. But I am keeping track to an extent.  Truly.

I cut back on my serving sizes, especially when it came to the home-made meals. Instead of three or four heaping spoonfuls of mashed potatoes, just one semi-hefty one. Instead of eating until I feel I will burst or have a coronary episode, I ate until I was almost full, then rested my fork for a bit. I stopped eating handfuls of jelly beans to help my night-time pills go down. I drank a little more water, and took the stairs an extra time or two.

Huh, I guess that was just enough.

Onwards and upwards! Er…downwards! Hmphf. Doesn’t really have the same ring to it, does it?

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Frustration 101

Frustration and weight loss go hand in hand. Like peas and carrots; pancakes and syrup; Oreos and milk; uh…what was I talking about again? Oh, yeah, yeah, weight loss and frustration.

Today I’d like to talk about my frustration with tracking what I eat. Now, I am a compulsive list maker. Nothing makes me happier than writing down lists of stuff and things; I’m even happier if I can make an Excel spreadsheet to track the things I am listing.

Here is the frustrating part: due to my current lifestyle (read: lazy) I am often faced with eating foods that I have not weighed or measured myself. They still may be healthy choices, but they are not marked with how much the serving size is and there is no nutritional information given. Case in point: because I am not able to get up in time to make and eat breakfast at home, I will often grab something from the cafĂ© that is on site here at the mill where I currently work. My favorite choice of late is vanilla low-fat yogurt with fresh blueberries. Yummy! I have a box of granola stashed in my desk, and I will add a ¼ cup to the yogurt for extra texture and crunch. The problem is that I can measure and record the nutritional information for the granola, but not the yogurt or berries. The container that they come in is not marked with how much is in the container (1 cup of yogurt, ½ cup berries??); and while I can look up the information on the berries online, I don’t know about the yogurt – what brand is it, etc. So, how much am I eating? How do I fill in the perfect little cells on my Excel spreadsheet with the information it so desires?

The other frustration with this is home-made food. Tuesday night we had tacos for dinner. They are served “family style”, which in our house means you help yourself from the pans on the stovetop. The beans were my sister’s home canned pinto beans; they were not fried or even refried. Just heated up in a saucepan and smashed to smithereens to the same texture. The hamburger was just regular hamburger browned with onions and spices in a non-stick pan. We like to pan fry corn tortillas in vegetable oil, and I use a few drops of bottled taco sauce, some sour cream, and a pinch of shredded Colby cheese to top it off. If I was the dedicated dieter that several people are, I would have at least measured/weighed each item so that I knew exactly how much I was eating. But when I am starving and dukeing it out with two big men and my equally starving sister to be sure I get anything at all, taking the time to do that doesn’t always occur to me. Not to mention that I currently do not have access to a food scale, nor do I have the funds to go purchase one at the moment. By the time it would have taken me to weigh everything while building my first taco, the rest of the food would be gone. Seriously. Although that would mean that I wouldn’t be able to stuff myself to the point of explosion, so maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing. But it’s just not my style, to be honest.

I think I am standing in my own way. The “it’s just not my style” in that last paragraph kinda directs the spotlight on a lot of my problems, doesn’t it? I guess that I really need to change my style, or else my style will be to wear gigantic muumuus and whine about how badly my back hurts all the time. That is not a cool style. I want my style to be pencil skirts and stiletto heels, biking down the Oregon coast or all around Mt. Rainier National Park (not in the pencil skirt and stiletto heels, though. More like a cool sports bra and {gasp} shorts). I want my style to be fun and spontaneous, not pre-planned to death so that I am not caught by surprise in some situation that will make me both physically and psychologically uncomfortable (air planes, amusement parks, anywhere I cannot wear full length pants, at least ¾ sleeves and tennis shoes which pretty much leaves out formal occasions and anywhere where the weather is more than 75 degrees).

I will have to commit to starting small. Get the damn food scale. Don’t eat stuff if I don’t know how much the serving size amounts to, and if I can’t get my hands on the nutritional info.

Any other suggestions?