And I deserve it, too.
I quit going to WW meetings back in November because I just couldn't afford the $45 a month anymore. I enjoyed them, but I got home so late afterward, and like I said, moolah be tight, yo.
At one point I managed to lose 10lbs and got down to 330. But it was homesick and so it has rejoined the Borg assimulation that is my body.
I don't know why I can't do this. It is making me crazy. My sister and I had a deal that she would shoot me when I started looking like our dad's mother. Either she is a really good sister for not shooting me, or she is a really bad deal keeper 'cause she probably should have shot me about 5 years ago.
I'm just really frustrated.
I do know that I have a serious addiction to sugar. I am the Lindsay Lohan of sugar addiction. Truly. I keep trying to wean myself off of it, but I find that I get a little manic (OK, more than a little) when I don't have any candy to snack on at the end of the day. I kind of got in this bad habit of having a little candy - jelly beans (Belly Flops are my favorite), Good & Plentys, candy corn, little stuff like that - right before bed. You know, just to help my nightly pills go down, that's all. I've discovered that having an AkMak cracker or a protein shake instead just.doesn't.work.for.me. Nope.
So, my blood sugar has been a little high. OK, a lot high. Not diabetic coma high, yet. But too high. So that needs work ASAP.
I checked out Jorge Cruise's "The 100 : count only sugar calories and lose up to 18 pounds in 2 weeks" book from the library, and it makes a lot of sense to me. Have I followed the diet yet? No. But I will check it out again and see if I can make it work.
So, there you have it. I suck. As Einstein said, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, yet each time expecting different results." So, I suck AND I am insane.
Siggghhhhh...
You don't suck. Sugar IS an addiction...and just like any other addiction, there are ways to deal with it, but they don't always work. Personally, i'm a SUPER SUGAR ADDICT too, and for me the only thing that works is cutting it out altogether...pretty much the NO-CARB atkins nazi diet. But I can never really seem to stick to it because it's so hard to live that life for me. Probably i lack the willpower and the ability to make my health a priority...i will admit to maybe not having an extremely strong will to live sometimes. But I know it's wrong to be like that and I do it anyway. It doesn't make me a bad person...it just is hard for someone who isn't me to not see it as anything more than me being a fattie fat fat. But ya know...fuck 'em.
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