Crazy Sexy...me?

I don’t normally do book reviews on this blog. This is because the blog is about my struggle with weight loss and my overall health issues. And to be perfectly honest, I mostly read diet books for their entertainment value (you expect me to eat WHAT? Ah hahahahahahahahaha. Wipes tear of laughter.) However, I am making an exception here because this is not going to be so much a “book review” as an “evaluation” of sorts. Does that make sense? Let me explain.

I am currently reading and making my way through Crazy Sexy Diet by Kris Carr. I just started it, and I have to say that I am actually intrigued. For those of you who may not know who she is, you may recognize the title of the film she made for TLC: Crazy Sexy Cancer. (If you have not watched it, I strongly recommend it. You can order the DVD from Netflix.) Back in 2003, Kris was diagnosed with epithelioid hemangio-endothelioma (EHE) that affects less than 0.01 percent of the population. The upside of the diagnosis is that it is a slow mover, so it wasn’t an immediate death sentence, but it is still definitely a potential life shortener for sure.

Kris decided that she wasn’t just going to accept this and play the dying victim. She decided to get educated, take control, and kick ass. And she has.

If you do know about Kris Carr, then you know that her lifestyle is vegetarian, or even vegan. And for anyone that knows me, they will be laughing their heads off at the idea of me reading and seriously contemplating her book. Because, if you haven’t read it here before, I hate vegetables. And the few that I can tolerate, don’t like me. However, after just reading the first eight pages, I feel like she is talking to me. I kind of feel my mind opening up to this. Admittedly, this happens quite often when I read a new diet book; but this time it just feels…different.

So, I thought that since following this lifestyle plan would be a humongous undertaking for me, instead of just doing a book review after I’ve read the whole thing, I would do it in pieces. I’ll let you in on the insights I am scouring from her book and share them with you in real time as I make the effort to incorporate some new things into my life, and how they are affecting me and challenging me.

Here is what I have so far:

I am one of the living dead. And I don’t make that statement trying to cash in on our zombie-infused entertainment world. I mean “living dead” because I just seem to shuffle from bed to work to home to bed in a consistent, mindless state. My life is a grind with little enjoyment, and I seem to be stuck on replay. There are only so many hours in the day, and I don’t seem to use any of my free time for things that bring me joy; and I sure as heck don’t experience any joy from the rest of my waking time. This has to change.

There are many things that are out of my control, but I have a lot of power over my health, happiness and life – and it all starts with my mouth. What I put in it, and the words that come out of it, determines my destiny. One of the reasons I have often given for my horrible eating habits is that my life feels like it is so out of control, and the only thing I feel I have any control over is what I eat. So I eat what I damn well please, whatever gives me comfort and/or happiness. Unfortunately, none of it is good for me, and in reality, it doesn’t really give me happiness. I may feel happy while I’m eating it, but later on I regret my decisions on what I ate, feel guilty or gross for having eaten it, and in the end feel only despair. No joy. No happiness. No sense of well-being. Just hate, revulsion, and disgust. Which then makes me want to eat. Cripes.

Waiting around for someone else to fix my woes is playing a risky game of roulette – and I have been incredibly lucky so far. But one day, most likely sooner than later, that chamber is not going to come up empty.

Hello CEO of Save My Ass Technologies, Inc.

Kris refers to what ails us as our “shit pickle”. I absolutely love that! What is my shit pickle? Obesity, depression, type 2 diabetes, PCOS, mitral valve prolapse, pitting edema, dry skin, rosacea, fatigue, sleep apnea, back pain, chronic migraines, IBS, acid reflux, and impending menopause. Wow. That is a whole jar of shit pickles.

Kris’s book is more than just what to put in your mouth; it is a whole lifestyle, and I guess that is what appeals to me. It’s not just giving up some stuff for a while to lose weight, then trying to keep it off. It’s not just about counting calories, or fat grams, or carbs; it’s exercise, meditation, and self-affirmations to last for the rest of your life. Your healthier, hopefully longer, life. (I will have to say this, though, since I always pledge to be perfectly honest on this blog: the tag line “including a 21-day adventure cleanse” made me laugh so hard. The words “adventure” and “cleanse” are scary when paired together. My mind plays a little movie wherein the star (me) is out on a safari somewhere, squirting everything she has ever eaten since age 4 out her backside for three weeks, emerging from her hut sweaty, hollow-eyed, and not being able to sit down normally for another three weeks while her hiney-hole heals. How does one do this adventure when you have hour-long commutes to and from a full time job that requires that you not spend six of your eight paid hours in the bathroom making rhinoceros noises?)

I’ll keep you informed!

PS – I just wanted to make perfectly clear that I am in no way being compensated for anything I write about Kris Carr’s book.